Is your ex haunting your home?

Whether you are living in the family home and your ex moved out, or you are starting over in a new place of your own, one of the big challenges is figuring out what will make you feel "at home" again.  It can be hard to get that "at home" feeling when your ex is still haunting your home!

When your ex moves out they don't take *everything* with them that you wish they would.  Left behind, haunting your home, are the Memories... trapped in the sofa you bought together, the pictures of you both with your friends last summer, the wedding gift from your aunt, the print from that winery you picked up on your honeymoon... the list goes on and on.  But how do you get rid of those ghosts without setting a match to it all and walking away?

Recently, while being interviewed for an upcoming documentary on divorce in the USA, they asked if I have my clients throw everything out in order to start fresh after a divorce.  I said "no, of course not" and explained that not only is that prohibitively expensive for most of my clients, but that relaunching doesn't mean having to toss everything and buy all new.  For each client we have to start by figuring out what in the home needs to go, what needs to stay, and what needs to be put away for a while.  And if there are kids involved we also have to figure out what they need to stay connected to the other parent, without holding anyone back from moving forward.  It's not easy.

Then I explained that small changes can go a really long way to helping the recently-divorced person move on from the embarrassment, pain, and heartache of the breakup and move on to the terrifying excitement of a new start in life.  Fresh paint, for example, can transform a room and create a new mood in just a few hours, whether you are wanting to feel newly sensual, newly youthful, or newly adventurous!

If you feel like your ex is still haunting your home and your just not sure where to start, try these four tips:

1. Make one small change.  Just rearrange the living room furniture. Just put fresh flowers on the kitchen table.  Just repaint your bedroom.  One small, manageable, bite-size change can start the process of healing and help you get some forward motion if you are feeling stuck.

2. Give yourself permission to let go.  Just because that sofa was expensive doesn't mean you can't sell it on Craigslist if it is making you miserable.  It's just a sofa, and it's not worth your misery.

3. Give yourself permission to hold on.  If your friends are telling you to throw out your wedding photos but it doesn't feel right to you, then put them safely in a box so that you don't have the day-to-day visual reminder of your past and the failure of your marriage, and put them on a top shelf in the attic.  It's okay if they stay there for a decade, or until you start dating again, or forever.  And if you have kids, it's often smart to save them for the inevitable questions that will come up later.

4. Get help.  Have a friend (or a professional your trust) go through your home with you and do an 'energy audit' of the space.  Walk through each room and get out what you feel when you are in that room.  What memories are evoked, what do you feel and what do you wish you felt?  Have your friend take notes - this will give you a good overview and the start to a roadmap for the big-picture changes you will need to take on, and help you understand what it is about your house that is haunting you.

If you have a haunted home and you'd like a little help busting those ghosts, let's chat - I love good ghostbusting challenges, and together we can nix the ex!

Does a mirror make a room look bigger?

A mirror is only is good as the image it reflects.

I wanted to share this image with you of a room designed by Barry Dixon, hung with a beautiful mirror, as seen in the September 2011 issue of House Beautiful.  Three of the things that make this vignette so successful are that 1) the mirror is hung at a natural height for a person to look in to its center, 2) the mirror itself is a lovely piece of art due to its oval shape and ornate frame, and 3) that it is reflecting a beautiful piece of art and a well chosen hanging lamp and medallion.

Room by Barry Dixon as seen in House Beautiful Sep 2011

In my work I have encountered dozens of mirrors that were meant to 'open up a room', often hung over a fireplace.  But if you hang a mirror over your fireplace and all it reflects is your white, bare or (gasp) popcorn ceiling, then all you've done is add more unsightly space to the room.  It may seem bigger, but is that the 'more' that you want?  That was the case for the client with the living room in the photo below - when I first came to their home to redesign this living room with their existing furnishings they had just that, a large, unadorned mirror reflecting a lot of white ceiling:

They wanted a new tv so we removed the mirror and hung the tv over the fireplace, and also rearranged the furniture and replaced the too-small rug with the larger rug from the dining room along with new paint and updated lighting and window treatments.  While I would have loved to put a piece of art over the fireplace, function for the family is always a first priority!

When choosing to hang a mirror consider what it will reflect when you look at it from all parts of the room.  If it reflects a beautiful view or piece of art that you love, go for it!  If it's hung so high that it just reflects white ceiling you've lost an opportunity to add to your space.  Same goes for reflecting a long dark hallway - who needs more hallway?  In those instances consider, instead, a piece of art, maybe with a natural theme like a forest with dappled light coming through aspen trees or a sunny desert vista. 

And remember, if the room feels 'dark' but a mirror will only reflect more of that dark room, add real light with table and floor lamps.

If you have questions about when to hang a mirror or how high to hang it, don't hesitate to send me an email with a picture of your space and your question, at design@rivalee.com.  Happy decorating!

Cleaning my new granite counters

Q: How do I keep my new granite counter clean?

My tile and granite folks, John and Theresa at Johnny Tile, recommend Dupont's series of stone and tile cleaners and sealers, specifically their Dupont StoneTech Professional Revitalizer Cleaner and Protector spray.  The key to a good stone and tile cleaner is that it does the job without having pH levels that will etch or otherwise damage your stone surface.  This product not only meets that criteria, but also reinforces the protection of your counter and tile with it's built in sealer.  And as an added bonus, it's citrus scented!  I am sure there are many other fine products out there (send me a note if you've found something amazing), but here's a place to start.  I've found it at Pental Granite and Marble in Seattle and on Amazon.com.

Want prosperity in 2011? Then dress (your home) for success!

You've probably heard that you should "dress for the job you want", but did you know you should also dress your home for the life that you want?  

• Want to be a successful business person?  Is your office the room of a successful entrepreneur or the cave of a messy middleman?
• Want to be a healthy, energetic person?  Is your kitchen a room that invites cooking healthy meals or is it set up for grab-and-go eating?
• Want to be a generous, giving person?  Is your home neat and clutter-free, or are you hoarding lots of stuff that someone else could really use and would love to have?

It's the new year, a great time to determine where you are in your life and where you want to be.  Take a moment to decide who you want to be at the end of this wonderful year, and then make sure that your home supports those goals.  Let go of the past and leap into your future, and remember:

"You can't write the next part of your story if you keep rereading the last chapter in your life!"

If you're still not sure you deserve to create a welcoming, nurturing, beautiful home, consider these questions for Sandra Felton in her book "Messie No More":


Why not have a lovely home that encourages all who enter?  
Why not be among those who are thrilled to invite people over on the spur of the moment?  
Why not be the person to whom people say, "Your house is so lovely!"  
Why not have people over for meals without working yourself to death to get ready?  
Why not have a house that raises your self-esteem rather than tears it down?  
Why not have a house filled with your favorite colors and accents?  
Why not have a house that reflects peace so that others love to come over? 


The question is not why should we have a nice house.  The real question is why not?

Let your kids redecorate - it’s a great teaching tool!

“The easiest way to teach children the value of money...

is to borrow some from them.”  Anonymous

Preteen room by decoratorJennifer Mullin of Ideal Spaces in Alabama - charming!

Is your son or daughter begging for a bedroom makeover?  This is a great chance to teach them about budgeting and let them express their personal taste.

First, set a budget.  Decide how much money your can afford for the project and decide if the child has to contribute to that fund.  For the lessons in this article, it’s not really important for them to contribute, since it’s about budgeting and planning, rather than earning.

Next, decide the parameters.  Are the floors off-limits?  But an area rug is okay?  What about paint?   It’s reasonable to let them choose the wall or ceiling color, but what about the trim, molding and doors?  Can they paint the furniture, or buy new?

Once the limits are set write them down on paper along with the budget and have everyone sign the decorating contract.  Then let them shop!  Make sure they understand that they only have this amount of money, that it needs to account for sales tax and shipping, if applicable, and help them create a complete plan before they ever lift a paint brush or buy a comforter.  Teach them to ask about return policies at stores and how to care for packaging and save receipts in case they need to take something back.

Make sure the contract states that you get to review the plan before implementation to assure that the limits were kept in mind, but otherwise try to keep your hands off the project.  Not only will your kid feel valued by being trusted and allowed to express some personal taste, they’ll come to understand the real cost of goods, learn to prioritize and make choices they must live with, and begin to learn to budget.  Priceless!

For another great article on teens and decorating try this one by Heidi Tyline King and Mary Wynn Ryan.

Your house should welcome you home. Start with the front door.

“To feel at home, stay at home.” Clifton Fadiman

A sense of peace and calm should greet you when you walk through your front door, but too often coming home means being hit in the face with a long list of ‘must-dos’, chaotic clutter, unpaid bills, etc... When you have just finished a long day of work, the last thing you need is a long night of... well, work.  

Try to create some spaces in your home that feel warm and welcome.  For some, that means an organized entry way and warm, inviting living room.  Others want an efficient, open kitchen where everything has it’s place.  And some need a spa-like bathroom and restful bedroom for the ultimate retreat.  

Think you need to move to have these dreams come true?  No!  Every one of those things could be created right in your own home!  You might need a hand seeing how your green plaid couch can be used to create a serene, contemporary living room (that’s where we can help) but it IS within your reach.  

Here are five things you can do NOW to make your home more inviting for yourself and your guests.  Walking up to your front door should make you feel welcome, not unwanted.

1. 1.Sweep it: Leaves and shoes cluttering up your front steps?  Take a broom and sweep it away.  Such a simple thing, but it really changes that first impression.
   
2. 2.Clean it: How does your front door look?  Is the window dirty?  Is the door surrounded by cobwebs?  Is the doormat covered in dirt?  Clean it up!  
   
3. 3.Sniff it: While outside, take in a good whiff of fresh air, then go inside and sniff.  What do you smell?  Vanilla, cookies, fresh air?  Great!  Trash, diapers, or cat pee (yikes) - not so great.  Take out the trash and clean that cat box IMMEDIATELY.
4. 4.Gift it:  Go, right now, and find three things that you don’t use and don’t need.  Give or throw them away.  Right now.  No really.  Right now.
5. 5.Banish the kids: Keep the kid’s toys in their room.  They can bring the toys they are playing with into any room, but then they are stored in their room.  That’s why they have a room.  Kid’s refuse to put away their toys?  My parents put things we left out in “jail”.  First offense, the toy went to “jail” for a day.  Second offense, a week.  Third time that same toy was left lying around?  Well, my parents figured we must not care enough about it, so it was donated to another family.  Boy did we learn to put our toys away!  Remember, it’s YOUR home too! 

New year, new home!

“As you grow older, you’ll find the only things you regret are the things you didn’t do.” Zachary Scott

Here comes the New Year and there is no time like right now to rethink, refresh and redesign your home!

These days, like many people, you are probably staying in more often.  It may mean you’ve had a chance to notice that dingy paint in the kitchen or made more aware of that door that won’t close right.  Back when the economy was booming you might have thought to sell your home, but now it is likely your going to stay put.  Why not feel great about that?  

Small changes in your home now mean that you’ll be able to enjoy your home more (you won’t believe what a fresh coat of paint can do) and also means you’ll be in a great position to sell your home if and when the time comes.  All those little, nagging projects can get front seat priority now.  And with the job market so tight, you can have your pick of great contractors and possibly even get great deals on materials.

"We're in an era where, rather than stretching for a trophy home, we can think about ways to modify the houses we're already in to make ourselves happy," says Daniel McGinn, author of House Lust, a book about how America became obsessed with McMansions, vacation houses, and "investing" in real estate during the boom. 

If you are ready to chat with us about redoing some aspect of your home, all you have to do is contact us!

For more reasons to put time and money into your home now, check out this article by “This Old House.” 

Mood Boards: A great communication tool

After your interior designer has a good idea of what you have in mind for your project, they will put together a design concept for your home.  One of the tools they might use is called a 'mood board'.  A mood board is a communication tool that uses visual language to make sure everyone is on the same page regarding the colors and 'mood' wanted in the newly decorated room.  

Mood boards are not meant to be interpreted literally.  There is no need to nitpick the board and say that you don't like the arms on the chair or that you don't actually own (in the case of this board) a chocolate lab with it's own set of pearls.  You want to step back from the board and decide if the feeling, the essence it suggests, is the feeling and essence you want to live with in your new room.

This mood board was created to communicate the feeling of a 'vintage chic' style. 

The next picture shows one of the areas in the home that grew out of the mood board's concept.  Can you see the relation in the color scheme and feeling between the board and real life vignette?

There is no reason why you can't create a mood board for yourself, too!  If you are planning on working with a designer, most will welcome the advance time and thought you put into the dream and vision you have for your room.  And if you are paying your designer by the hour, you save money, too!  Don't worry about making it perfect, or even about things matching.  It can be a pile of clipped images that may not seem to relate; your designer can often distill your design style from vary disparate images.

On the other hand, if you are do-it-yourselfer, a complete mood board is a great tool for making sure that as you are out shopping you don't stray too far from the feeling you want, and you are more likely to end up with a cohesive, finished room than if you shop without this kind of a map and just buy on impulse.  Impulse shopping usually just leaves you with more stuff and a still unfinished room, crying out for cohesion.  So try your hand at a mood board.  Let your imagination run wild with the room you'd Love to have.  Clip images from home magazines, off the internet, from your own photos, and even from travel, fashion and cooking magazines.  This is about setting a mood with texture and color - the details of the arms on the chair will be worked out later.

Green is the new Black

I attended a seminar the other day at the Seattle Design Center by Bob Margulis of Ravenworks Joinery. For those looking for truly green, truly beautiful cabinetry, I highly recommend making an appointment with Bob!

Sustainably built kitchen cabinets by Ravenworks Joinery.

The seminar was designed to educate interior designers on "green building" and how they can educate clients and sway them towards "green" choices. What struck me was a comment Bob made about working for some of the wealthier clients in the Puget Sound area. When asked if it would violate his "green" principles to work for a client with a 10,000 square foot home, he said no, that he'd certainly take the job. Is he looking to cash in on a big project? While I am sure that the paycheck is nice, he had a more important reason for this choice. If he didn't take on the work, someone else surely would, and who's to say that that contractor would be using sustainable practices in his or her work? Regardless of Bob's (or my) opinion of living in that large of a home, making the cabinetry in such a home out of FSC wood is a great big checkmark on the side of the environment! It also gives Bob a chance to educate the customer or his contractors on other green choices that could be made in that home.

Bob made one other (I think) fantastic point. As environmentalists we *must* be careful about getting too high and mighty about our green choices. As he points out, what's "green" today may be "black" tomorrow. Take bamboo, for example. Just a few years ago this was touted as a fabulously green option for cabinetry, flooring, and other uses. Since then we have recognized that while it does *grow* sustainably, it is engineered using glues that off gas toxic fumes and it is also shipped halfway around the world, requiring enormous amounts of carbon based fuel to export. There is very little black and white in "green" - maybe green is the new gray.

Where to start with an interior designer

So you've decided to have a designer come over to look at your decorating dilemma.  If you've never worked with a design professional, you may not know what to expect.  This article is meant to give you some tools for making the most of that first meeting in terms of communicating your design wishes (please see "Up Front Budgets" for help on the financial side of that first meeting).  

A clean and contemporary bedroom featured on eurofurnitureonline.com

You've probably decided to hire a designer either because you feel that you 'have no style' or that this particular room is outside your problem solving comfort zone.  Regardless, please don't tell the designer to do "what ever they want" because you may not get what you want, but you'll have to pay any way.

How do you direct the conversation?  Do your homework.  My clients start one of three ways.  Either they have an inspiration piece they want to use to focus the room, they have a collection of images from the internet or magazines to share, or they get handed "The Book", my own collection of images for those too busy or uncertain to have started before I arrive.  

One of my clients asked me to redesign her bathroom.  She had a light fixture already chosen and purchased, and my job was to create a room around the fixture.  That was a great starting point!

Other clients have torn out 10, 20 or more pictures from design magazines and printed pictures they've downloaded from the internet.  To do something like this try typing in a search like "modern bedroom images" or "traditional kitchen images" in Google.  Then click on the "images" button right at the top of the Google search page and print out any that inspire you.  By going through these images with my client I learning what they like (or don't like) identify a common design thread and style.

Finally, many of my clients are overwhelmed before I arrive and have done practically nothing. They get "The Book."  The Book is simply a three ring binder full of images I have torn out of magazines over the years, and I have the homeowner go through with a stack of post-it notes and mark images that they love (and at least three that they hate).  From there I go through the ones marked, learn what they like and dislike, and again identify their design preferences.

I do this in addition to asking questions about their house, lifestyle, and wishes for their home.  All this is critical to making sure that 1) I understand what the client wants, 2) that my own design style is in line with their wishes so that we work together seamlessly and 3) that I am able to communicate effectively with this particular client; without effective communication the project is doomed.

Every designer that comes to your home with have their own way of running that first meeting, but the more prepared you are beforehand, the more you will get out of the meeting and the more quickly you'll know if this designer is the right designer for you and your home.

To Permit or Not To Permit... do you need a permit for your bathroom remodel?

As a homeowner you might not be sure whether you need to get a city permit for your bathroom remodel.  This information is meant to help clarify that question, but please keep in mind that this information is *only a guide* and that you need to evaluate each project individually.  There are some good resources to help you answer that question for your specific project, listed below.   Additionally, this article is only for Seattle area homes, because while the same rules may apply in other jurisdictions, they are not my area of expertise.

In all likelihood, you probably do not need a permit for your bathroom remodel.  If you do, you probably only need an “over-the-counter” electrical permit, for which you can quickly apply online, no need to wait for hours in a city office.

There are three basic kinds of permits you might face - the first is a building permit.  You might need this if you are removing structural beams or moving or resizing a window.  In a standard bathroom remodel you are probably leaving the walls alone, and perhaps replacing, but not moving or resizing a window.  No permit needed.  

The second kind is a plumbing permit.  You'll need this if you are moving around the rough plumbing, that is if you are, for example, moving the tub across the room, adding a stand alone shower, and moving the new double sink vanity to a new wall.  That is significant plumbing work and you should have a permit.  However if, like in many Seattle area remodels, you are just replacing the fixtures (and perhaps the shower diverter) but not moving the plumbing to new locations, no permit needed.

Finally there is the electrical permit.  This is the one permit that you might need, and you might need this even if there is no need for plumbing or building permits.  You want this if you are moving around the wiring (adding new recessed lighting, for example), changing the kind of wiring, or (especially) if you are running new circuits from your electrical box.  When would you need a new circuit?  In older houses it may simply not be done right and when you open the walls you may realize the circuits have too much load and need to be redone.  Or you might be adding electrical underfloor heating that should have it's own circuit.  You (or your contractor) might be tempted to skip an electrical permit, but they are not that hard to get (you can apply online!), and when you go to sell the house, you want that all in order.  Not to mention that you have no need for any new fire hazards, and having an inspector check the quality of your contractor's work is not such a bad thing.

So, what it often comes down to is what kind of remodel you are really doing.  If all you are doing is giving everything new clothes (tile, fixtures, paint, even sheetrock) but you are not changing any of the bones (plumbing, wiring, beams) then you likely have no need of a permit.  But I'll say it again, this is only a guide, so judge each project on it's own terms and, if you need more help, check out the Seattle Department of Planning webpage to learn more about building permits, read here to learn about plumbing permits, and click here to learn about electrical permits, and about applying online.

If you have any further questions, I'll be happy to help you find an answer, so don't hesitate to email me, too!  I am at design@rivalee.com.