 |
Credit: scottsnyde © scottsnyde - SXC |
“If you're going through hell, keep going.” Winston Churchill
So, you’re newly single. When you look around your home, do you see your future, or only ghosts and broken dreams? As painful as divorce is, it is also the beginning of the rest of your life, and if you can embrace this idea you will find a whole new world of possibility waiting for you.
I've been there. I have faced the pain and embarrassment of knowing that I failed at marriage, and the terror of knowing that every plan I’d made is void and I need a new plan. I have also faced living in a home that reminded me of that lost life everywhere I looked.
So what did I do? I repainted every wall, craigslisted some of the furniture, and created a home that said ME instead of US. And once I was done, I felt like I could start my life again because everywhere I looked I saw a beginning instead of an end.
So, when you are ready to leave the pain and past behind, why not start with a fresh coat of paint? There is nothing so therapeutic as physical activity, and I can almost guarantee that this will help you restart your life emotionally, mentally, and even physically.
If you have kids you will have to be sensitive to their needs, too, of course. You can ask them if they want to redesign their room. Some kids will really need the stability of everything staying the same, and you will need to take things slowly, and just do one room, perhaps your bedroom and master bath, at first. Other kids will leap at the idea and enjoy this new project with you. Either way, it’s smart to create a box of mementos of their other parent, even early love letters and photos, for your kids to have for later as they ask questions about your marriage and what happened. Some of my most treasured items from my own childhood are the cards signed ‘mom and dad’ from the years before my parents’ divorce when I was seven.
Still, your children learn from everything you do, and if they see you embracing a new future (instead of bashing the past) they can learn optimism and courage, and from you will understand how to make the best of even the hardest situations.
